Ethereum turns 10 today!
Ten years of relentless innovation!
But....
What if Ethereum never launched?
Let me paint you a cursed timeline:
“NFTs” are still called rare Pepes and trade via forum escrow
"DeFi" is just a guy in a hoodie offering 20% APR in a parking lot
“Smart contracts” = emailing your MetaMask seed to a stranger for airdrop points
No Pengus. No Beeple. No Miladys. No Rektguys. No Punks. No Apes. Just whitepapers and quarterly reports
No Solidity, no ERC‑20, no unstoppable apps. Just centralized dreams with venture capital terms
Imagine a LinkedIn group for lawyers debating tokenomics... and that’s your entire feed. No shitpost battles. No dank memes. No “rekt” or “HODL” chants
Bitcoin maxis finally launch DeFi on Excel, with macros
Web3 is a Chrome extension that sells your data faster
Every “decentralized” app has a Meta, Amazon, or BlackRock logo on it
You never got rugged because nothing was fun enough to ape into
No frog memes. No LARPing. No on-chain cults
No art wars. No anon dev drama. No cults minting JPEGs at 3AM
No $TOKEN launched by a dog, run by a frog, and governed by chaos
No Farcaster dunk threads, no anon lore drops, no degen poetry at 2AM
No vibe shifts, just protocol upgrades with press releases
CT? Just grayscale charts and 12 threads a day on "The Next Bitcoin"
CT shitposters? Posting TA charts on LinkedIn with “synergy” in the caption
DApps? Nope. Just 100 blockchains, none with users, all with Discord drama
Bitcoin devs finally agree on one thing: they hate everything that isn’t Bitcoin
Meanwhile, Vitalik becomes a StarCraft grandmaster
Zuck launches MetaCoin
And SBF is still giving TED Talks
Ethereum didn’t just change the game
It made sure there was a game
Ethereum didn’t just give us smart contracts, it gave us exit velocity from Web2
Happy 10th anniversary
Believe in somETHing
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