1d ago
> be me in 2026
> wake up, check weather app
> "72° and sunny, also you're long on HYPE at 50x leverage"
> wtf.jpg
> open spotify to listen to music
> Taylor Swift new album just dropped
> also I just got liquidated on my SOL short
> thanks Spotify™ Powered by Hyperliquid™
> order doordash for breakfast
> see McDonalds having a sale
> short MCD perps, long BK with my order
> "your whopper will arrive in 20 mins, also your PnL is -$347"
> open home depot app to buy a hammer
> accidentally open 100x leveraged position on lumber futures
> checkout process asks "would you like to add stop loss?"
> click yes, still don't know if it's for the hammer or the perps
> open tinder to find a date
> swipe right
> "you matched with Jessica! also you're now long on DOGE"
> try to unmatch
> can't tell if I'm unmatching the girl or closing the position
> check gmail for work email
> "You have 3 new emails and 47 open positions"
> I only meant to open 2
> try to call mom
> phone app: "calling mom... also executing market buy on ETH"
> she asks why I sound stressed
> can't tell her I'm getting margin called through my contacts app
> mfw every app is a trading terminal now
> mfw I longed AAPL through the apple store checkout
> mfw my liquidation price is lower than my credit score
> just wanted to check the weather
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