I used to be a clean-cut investment banker at a top-tier Wall Street firm. Ivy League background, $5K suits, Rolex shining under the fluorescent office lights. My life was built around spreadsheets, quarterly earnings, risk models, and late-night calls with clients. I played the traditional game well—ETF rebalancing, blue-chip plays, IPO allocations. I was rising fast.
But secretly? I was bored out of my mind.
Crypto started as a curiosity. Memecoins were just internet noise to my colleagues, but to me, they had a pulse, a culture... chaos. One night, deep in a telegram rabbit hole, I stumbled upon two coins: PEPE and MOG. Total degeneracy. No use case. Just memes and momentum. But something about them felt different—raw, unfiltered energy.
So I did the unthinkable.
I liquidated everything: my bonus, my savings, even sold off a few blue chips in my personal portfolio, even tapped into company funds for clients capital that I was managing. I full-stacked into PEPE and MOG. When the firm found out, they called me into a conference room. My MD looked at me like I’d lost my mind. I got let go that afternoon.
At first, the coins tanked.
I watched my portfolio bleed 70% in a week. I felt sick. Was this the dumbest decision of my life? But I held. Not for rational reasons, just pure conviction.
Then it started.
MOG exploded first, viral on Twitter, TikTok, Reddit. PEPE followed. Charts went vertical. My $50K turned into $2 million. Then $7 million. I was a walking meme myself. The same firm that fired me? They called me back, offered me a partner-level seat. I walked in with sunglasses and a shit eating grin.
But success messes with your brain.
I started believing I had the touch. That I was the alpha. So I took it further. This time, with even more company money. I found another obscure coin, people on X (formerly twitter) kept saying the phrase 'Hot Air Rises'. Thats how I found it... FartCoin. No whitepaper. No roadmap. Just pure toilet humor and a Twitter account that was supposed to be some revolutionary AI. I laughed as I went all in. My colleagues begged me to reconsider. I didn’t listen.
FartCoin dumped hard. We lost millions in days. They fired me. Again.
But just like before, I held.
Months later, out of nowhere, FartCoin trended. Ansem tweeted about it. A few influencers made it their personality. Suddenly, it was everywhere, even the news channels. It 10x’d, then 100x’d. I became a multi-millionaire again.
Now the firm that once called me a liability is calling again, comical.
But this time, they don’t want to hire me...
They want me to buy them.
Funny how the markets work. One day you're a suit, the next, you're just a man with a lot of gas.
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